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I'm in a dilemma.

Right now, my mind is confused and lost. I somehow lost the direction in my life. I dunno wat to do or how to do. Perhaps, its really time for me to tink and reflect about my life, my work and myself.

After thinking about past few months of everything, i realise. My attitude in everything. I tink tt is the main killer that landed me in tis current situation and wat am i today. I realise that my biggest problem is that i dun admit or realise my mistakes that i have done. I always try to find excuses n blame on other people instead. " It's not my fault, it's he XXX..." that's wat i everytime would say. AND tis sometimes, people ard me gets sick and annoyed by me. Landing them in trouble and they got to clear those shits that i left behind. Sometimes conveniently, I push the blame on others instead so that i will not be blamed. tsk tsk tsk...

Another mistake is i dun listen. When people trying to talk or tell me what to do. Telling me to correct my errors that i have done. I simply juz listen in n flows out the other. I dun tink or care about wat others feel sometimes. People who tried to help me by covering or aiding me, i took them for granted. I juz dun appreciate or reciprocate. Maybe, i'm really selfish.

I guess i'm begining to turn into someone whom i begining to "not noe" . I change without even realise tt i change. I really dislike the way i am now. Worst, I begining to yearn for much "label" stuff now. I dunno y. Izzit becoz of frenz ard me or it's me who is being so much affected by people. I dunno.

Actually, i got to thank tis special person. He's the one who told me all these n asked me to reflect about myself. Thx Melvin.

I've really thought alot. Perhaps u r right, a girl that wans everything could result in losing everything. The more u wan, the more u lose.

I say "IF" let say, my bf buys everything that i wan. He's gonna get really broke. Unless he's really rich. Let say he's not. And becoz of my cravings, he got to sacrifice for me. Working is not easy. All those stress and workload could really drive someone crazy. But to able to fufill my wish, he got no choice but to work. Come to tink of that, everything that i buy, is actually using his hardwork and sweat to exchange for it. I'm really a inconsiderate girl. I noe. I really hope it's not to late to realise this.

Sometimes, leading a normal life is not easy. Temptations is all ard you. But is how u face it n handles it. I guess after all these reflections bout myself, i will become a better person. Be it to frenz ard me. familys or in relationships. I can be a better person. It's not juz can, but it's i WANT.

I noe it's not too late to change. And trust me, i WILL change and bear everything in mind.

*peeps, i'm juz fine. I'm juz doing some self-reflections.